It has come to my attention that some people who have read my interview in Salon.com about my new dating site BuckAngelDating are misinterpreting the meaning of something I said.
I want to appologize for any misunderstanding this may have caused, and I want to clarify what I meant when I said this:
I’m a huge advocate for disclosure, because I believe a lot of people get themselves in bad situations because they do not disclose. For example, trans women who might hook up with a cis-gendered guy and then he goes home with her and finds out she has a penis and flips out and beats her up or kills her. That’s horrible, and I really believe by not disclosing it’s very disrespectful to the other person because they might not be into it and it makes them feel very freaked out about themselves. Disclosure is huge for me, and how do you do that in a bar situation? You’re right, it’s very strange. For me, how I always did it was if I knew it was going to turn into a sexual situation, immediately, immediately, I would say, “I need to let you know about this situation.” But the dating site puts it right out there: I’m a man with a vagina!
What I am saying here is I do believe that disclosure (and honesty in general when it comes to going home with someone) is important. Disclosing that you are trans before heading home with someone can help to avoid getting into a bad situation, and you also show pride in being a trans person. I referred to trans women in my example because I am well aware of such violence happening and it is a horrible thing that I believe is avoidable.
I was in NO WAY saying that anyone deserves to be beaten or killed because of a failure to disclose!
Disclosing is a very personal choice; I know this and respect it. I was not assuming that we all decide to make that choice. But when we do, we expose more people to trans folks, which ultimately does lead to greater awareness, and ultimately acceptance in society.
Please accept my apology for this comment coming across in a way I did not intend. This can happen sometimes when you do a verbal interview due to the way it gets transcribed.
I am most certainly not trans-misogynist.