Dear Mr. Buck,
 Hello, my name is Sam and I am a transgender teen. I just watched your “It Gets Better” video and you said we could talk to you… Well I have no support it feels like, I hate being misunderstood and no one really even tries to understand anymore. I see there are all these kids finding support in their communities but when I look around all I see are churches telling me that I’m wrong and disgusting. I can’t go to my father who is a “God fearing” minister and strong believer of so. I can’t go to my step-mom who is the same way. I tried to go to my friends but they can’t seem to understand. School is no help at all because I’m living in xxx in the heart of the bible belt and everyone here is “God’s way or the highway”. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I hate this body that I am in… It doesn’t match my heart, or my mind and it’s killing me. I have cut before and I don’t want to spiral down that low again. I’ve contemplated suicide everyday for three years now and I don’t like the person I’m becoming… Please, give me some advice?

Hi Sam

Sam please don’t even think of killing yourself, that is what those who are making you feel this way want! Your a person who is normal in how you feel. If it wasn’t normal than why do so many of us feel this way?
Those people who are doing that are the ones who are not normal and full of hate.
It sucks when you don’t have a support group, I understand because I did not have one either, But I made it to become the person I wanted to and you can too. You have lots of things to live for. When you realize that things will change. Pay no attention to that crap.

Cutting sucks and I can relate as you know. But stop now. You have to focus on making yourself happy. I am very familiar with XXX . It’s not just there it is everywhere, so you need to just learn to love yourself and try to not let those people take you down.

Keep your head held high my friend things will get better with time. If it possible to find some other to talk to maybe in a FTM support group online.

Stay strong and stay in touch with me so I can see how your doing because I care about you.


Buck Angel®
Pioneering Filmmaker, Speaker, and Advocate

Buck Angel, you are an angel! Thank you for what you do! Your so inspiring for me, we need role models like you! I hope I can tell you a little bit about me because I feel this deep need to talk to you. My name is H, im 28 and im just starting my transition (ftm) who is pre t and already im lost with so much stacked against me. I live in a place that is not trans familiar and I have to change my life dramaticaly such as moving to another state  to become myself and I dont even know if I will succeed. The pain got so bad it became unbearable to interact with people around me. I would call out of work just so I didnt have to be Tina that day. Having thoughts of succide every day to the point where I planned it out, a bottle of sleeping pills and a fifth of captain and call it good night and I almost did it. At that point I knew it was transition or bust. Im not as bold to transition in front of coworkers and friends so I quit my measly little job cashiering at a retail store and my friends havent heard from me in months. So im taking my tax return, moving to a place I dont even know just to escape my prison. I cant live a lie anymore just to make people happy but I also have a hard time explaing this to homophobic and transphobic people. So im going to go on this crazy ride to god knows where with nothing but a few belongings and what money I have. I know, sounds insaine but I hear its better than the alternative. So yeah, I mean I dont know what else to do but thank you for listening, well reading lol and I just want to tell you that you are doing an amazing job for the world to make it a better place for not only trans but everyone because your message is so profound that anyone can benifit from what u do. Thank you.

Hey H,

Thanks so much for your email! I am so proud of you for taking your negative situation and making it a positive one I do know how hard it is to live a lie as I tried suicide as well. That is not the answer.
You are doing the right thing and getting yourself in a place where you can be you! It might not be easy or it might just be super easy who knows but the fact that you are doing it say so much about who you are. Take the bull by the horns and go for it! I will be with you in spirit every step of the way. When you get in a bad spot just think of me pushing you and I hope that will help you!
Thank you for letting my work influence you in such a positive way! That means the world to me.

Keep in touch with me so I know how you are doing!

WOOF!!
Buck Angel®
Pioneering Filmmaker, Speaker, and Advocate

Hi Buck Angel..My name is Luke…I’m trans and I don’t know what to do anymore.
I want to be a boy, but I feel like if I have to be a boy, I have to be super manly..
I’ve been crying on and off for so long because I still like girl things and I don’t know if I’m allowed to…

You can be whatever you want!! There is no right or wrong way to be a boy or a man!
Just be yourself!
WOOF!
Buck Angel®
Pioneering Filmmaker, Speaker, and Advocate

Stockholm Pride-The Buck Angel Experience

This is translated from a Swedish blog:

Today I was listening to Buck Angel and I had to hold my tears several times. His story about his whole journey to where he stood today was poignant, amazing and strong. This was the first lecture I was at where I have not looked at the clock, and yawned.

Buck Angel told me how he always had a struggle with his sex and his worst enemy was his own breast. Once he took them away so he felt relief. As a stone had struck down from his backpack. Buck talked about his three suicide attempts and how he has been called a freak over the years where he has been recommended to visit the various psychological clinics and hospitals to get well?

Everything was so incredibly touching and remarkable.

It was Buck Angel sad when he talked about when he entered puberty, developed breasts, and his past so good male friends began to treat him as a girl.

It told Buck Angel how he not remember how he for a year traveled around Europe as acclaimed model.

I will write more about it a little later but Buck Angel was the best thing that happened today. Thanks Buck, thanks Pride House!

The best!

Here is the original blog post

This always makes me nervous. I think because I work in the adult entertainment business. Even though I am still an educator and want to be able to talk with youth, It still makes me nervous. Is it a trap from some weird child protection agency?

hey buck, im a 16 year old boy… i honestly cant figure out my sexuality! some days im like i dont wanna be gay pussy is awsome then other days im like fuck i wanna suck a cock today! do you have any advice with figuring out my sexuality? any advice helps!

Thanks

-tyler

So because of this I have to respond like this:

Hi Tyler,

Thanks for your email. I am not sure I can help you with this. Specially because you are underage and I think talking about sex on the internet with a youth might not be a good idea. But I think you should contact your local GBLTQ center in your area or even at school.

Hope this helps you and don’t stress out everything you said is natural!

I think now I have to do some kind of PSA for the youth…

WOOF!!
Buck Angel®
Pioneering Filmmaker, Educator, and Advocate

My Mom helps me get the message out! It was not easy to grow up feeling out of place but my Mom was always really there for me. Even when I was strung out on drugs.

Today we have a amazing relationship and she is so open to me being her son that she was willing to do this PSA for me to help other families who struggle.

I hope you really enjoy this an know how important this message is. Do me a big favor and pass it along it is an great message and I want my Mom to see the thousands of hits it gets so she will understand even more how powerful the message is.

A big woof to my Mom!

Buck Angel

“I just really really wanted to thank you for you it’s get better video, your one of my biggest heroes as a young trans and allow me to see where I can be someday and just how much better it really gets. “

Since I posted my video for the “It Get’s Better” Project I have been getting some incredible emails. It really has made me feel so good about posting the video. I wasn’t going to post it after I broke down and started to cry because I was embarrassed. My ego was getting in the way. But the I realized the video was not for me, It was for the GBLTQ youth.

I have also been getting slammed by people about being a “Porn Star” and reaching out to kids. That I should not be doing this. I am NOT a good role model. Well of course I have a different opinion about this ( The funny thing is Dan Savage who is doing the “It Get’s Better” is a sex writer and no one is saying that about him?) But anyway I decided to really concentrate on all the positive feedback for a while as this is what it’s all about.

Here is an email from a woman that I have been in touch with before. I think this says so much. I am working on starting a website of GBLTQ resources soon.

“Hi Buck!!

I wrote to you some time ago to tell you how inspiring I thought you were.  Your story has prompted me to have a long talk with my two daughters about all different kinds of sexuality (as much as I feel they can deal with at their ages!!)  My younger child was so taken with the possibility of being transgendered, and so sympathetic to how difficult that would be for someone, that for months she pretended that one of her dolls was a transgendered girl who was really a boy inside.  She made sure that this doll wasn’t treated any differently than the others, and would “berate” her other dolls if she felt that they were being mean to him.  (Can I tell you how PROUD I am of her for that??!!)

In any case, I remember mentioning to you that Children’s Hospital in Boston was starting a program for transgendered kids, and I wanted to give you an update in case you were interested.  Check out the following link:

http://childrenshospitalblog.org/childrens-gives-transgender-tween-new-hope/

As always, take care of yourself!  Hope all is going well in your world.  Perhaps if there are more kids as open and understanding as I’m trying to raise my children to be, the world will be a better, more tolerant place, and other kids won’t have to go through what you went through just trying to be the YOU that you were meant to be.

Peace,”

I am one lucky man to get these emails. It really makes me proud of my work and the work of all my friends!

WOOF!!

Buck Angel

It Gets Better!

I made this video as part of a project that Dan Savage is doing to reach out to our GBLTQ youth. So many suicides happening! Why?? This is NOT OK!! We all need to reach out and be part of this. They need us. And like Dan says these schools are not going to ask us, Or someone like me to come speak and tell my story are they..So we must use the power of the internet!

Please check out Dan’s project here.

http://www.youtube.com/itgetsbetterproject

WOOF

Buck Angel