As humans, we are always evolving. Our journey leads us to many changes in our lives, not just our transitions. Our lives, minds, bodies, and world is ever changing. We are “Under Construction” so why not show it off?
Buying one of my braclets, tshirts, or hoodies can do just that for you.
*Bracelets are $5 each!!!
(Shipping included to UsA)
*T shirts $15
*Long Sleeve Shirts $18
(Shipping is an additional cost for each)
Add your name to personalize for only $2 more
(names can be added to the back of t shirts or to the back or a sleeve of the hoodie)
Hoodies & Long Sleeve Shirt Colors :
Navy, Black, White, Charcoal, and Grey.
T-shirts come in multiple colors.
Please inquire about options
All proceeds are put towards my surgery in April with Dr Kathy Rumer in Pa.
Q. Hey man I need to ask a question as a trans-man who has a total disconnect with his vagina how do you deal with it? Does it bother you? Do you love it? I’m not being judgmental,you just seem to be very pro-vag and I want to understand how you deal with it. My girl wants to touch it and penetrate it but I can’t handle it. I just want to rip it out of my body some days.
A.Hey buddy-I am pro loving your body and whatever that means for you. I had to learn to love my vag because I knew that I was never going to get bottom surgery and I love sex so much that it was coming between me and having good sex. I do not expect every guy like myself to embrace the vag like I do. I am just putting it out there to show that it is possible.
Some trans guys say that I am anti-bottom surgery because I embrace my vag so much. This is so very far from the truth. I think you should do what you need to do to love yourself and I wish that a trans man who has had bottom surgery would step up to the plate like I have and show the world how proud he is of his penis!
Just take it slowly my friend and try to come to terms with why you dislike your vag so much. I think that will help.
My name is Ana, and I’m 29 years old. About six months ago, I had an “a-ha” moment when I realized that my body image issues might not simply be due to my weight, but also because no matter how in shape I get as a female, I really would prefer a masculine body. Since then, I have been doing a lot of research, talking with my various therapists (primary psycho, gender identity, nutritionist and personal trainer), talking with my family, and doing a lot of thinking. In that time, I have looked to you and your resources as a source of inspiration. With an open mind, you really embrace the idea of simply being comfortable in your own skin. This has really made a big difference in my thought process—at first, it felt like I had to automatically just presume that I needed to switch to being male. This has help me to also realize that all of what I’m feeling is solely about finally accepting my own body, not as what it is, but rather, what it could be. And, it’s not really about how I present to others or that I want to present a certain way to the public at all.
Though, at this time, I still technically identify as female, I definitely feel that I would be far more comfortable with a dominantly male body, and I’m trying to be very deliberate and slow with my process of attaining the body I really want. My first step is to do as much as I can to reach my healthiest point through nutrition and fitness. Once there, I want to live in that space for some time while assessing my comfort. If, in fact, that’s all that I needed, then I don’t need to move on. But, if I find that it’s still not feeling right, I would start to seriously consider top surgery because my breasts are really the most challenging part for me. Again, after that, live in that space and assess comfort. From there would be hormones.
That said, I’ve noticed most FtMs that I have met or read about often start testosterone first and then have top surgery. My question is does the order matter? Would doing one before the other make doing the other easier or harder? My problem is that hormones are still a little scary to me. With surgery, there’s a pretty standard outcome, whereas hormones work different and have different results for everyone. I want to be absolutely sure that it’s necessary to do before jumping into it.
I apologize for such a lengthy email, but I’m starting to recognize the need for reaching out to others, and who better than you!
I appreciate any feedback or responses you might have. Thanks for your time!
Thanks for your email and trusting me to give you some good feedback.
I am happy to hear that you are becoming aware of how to be yourself no matter what anyone thinks. Good for you.
So you can surely have top surgery before taking hormones if you can find the doctor to do that. I have met some people who have done that. I think that is very smart of you to think about the testosterone. This is something that can have effects that you cannot reverse. Same for the top surgery, so think about that as well.
Just take your time and talk to people about it you will figure out what is right for you. And that is really the bottom line, make sure whatever you do is right for you. There is no right or wrong way.
Good luck my friend!
Pioneering Filmmaker, Speaker, and Advocate
Hey Mr. Buck Angel, all right?!
Well, first of all I congratulate you for simply being who he is! This includes your personality, what it does and all that part of you, I think that has helped many people today who are you’ve been to one day and nothing better than a person who is intended to help others,Congratulations!
Well, I am Brazilian, my birth name is C but (almost) everyone calls me L, I’m 26, about 11 months I treat male hormone, attend sessions of psychoanalysis and I have a friend who is a personal trainer who has helped me in relation to the exercise (and have their videos).
Whenever I see many videos on Youtube about FTMs and results of treatment with testosterone and operation of the chest have been very good but I saw no better than yours. So I wanted to ask you a help with this …
All my treatment is done by an endocrinologist, and 6 months did applications 1 ml Sustanon (Durateston) every 4 weeks, now I’m doing, every 5 weeks, 2 ml of Deposteron applications (there was a resistance to insulin and my doctor added a compressed of Metformin a day and it did lower insulin), I am in the fifth month in a total of 6. Then she showed me a gel that goes on inside of leg, she said, have a more continuous, with no peaks …
I also believe in making the operation of the chest but I’m still searching for here in Brazil there is a lot of bureaucracy, outdated ethics and lack of experience …
I wonder if you could help me, telling me what treatment you do, what specific type of operation to be made in the chest with such a good result and anything that can tell me …
I look back and thank you for the space!
Ps: Sorry about the English but had to use the Google translator … lol
Thanks for the email. That is so great that you are able to go through the change in Brazil. Some countries do not allow this.
So how does your body feel on the testosterone? why did your doctor lower it? You need to have a good amount of testosterone to build muscle. Also if you have not had a hysterectomy I would not use the cream as it is not as powerful as shots.
I am always changing my treatment. For example I have just recently had a hysterectomy so I can lower my testosterone levels. Before I was using depo-testosterone 1 ml every 10 days. Now I am using sustenon to help build back my muscle after surgery. The thing is all of our bodies are different so we need to find what works for us.
My chest surgery was done in United States and it is called the keyhole incision. Because I had small breasts before. They just cut under the aeriola.
I hope this helps you and good luck with your change.
Pioneering Filmmaker, Speaker, and Advocate
This is very interesting-Someone left this comment on my website BuckAngel.com-On my “Photo of The day”- “I don’t mean to be disrespectful but it seems odd to me you don’t change all the way? Why be 50/50? Why not be one or the other, regardless of life? It just seems almost contradictory to be male but enjoy ur female parts, just saying. Hypocritical?”-
What do you think?
I hate my breasts, thighs and butt. They make me look feminine and I would like to look more masculine in my clothes, you know? I’m very self conscious about my body build, I hate going outside in the day time. I want to look like you, I want to be comfortable outdoors. I want to experience life with my friends. I want to go to the beach and take off my shirt. Do you have any advice for me? How much is the top surgery and what surgeon did you go too? Please reply, I don’t know what else to do. I’m tired of being depressed and stuck in the house. When I have enuff money I want to begin my FTM transformation.
I totally understand I was there.I am looking into starting a business here in Mexico to help get guys/girls inexpensive good surgery.
For now you should make an effort to workout hard and change your body with exercise. This also helps you to feel really good about yourself. Trust me on this. Exercise also stimulates the brain and gives you self confidence.
Hope this helps you a bit. Enjoy life, It is your life, don’t let people scare you into staying locked in the house depressed. We all have different body types and be proud of yours!
I’m going in the hospital to have my hysterectomy tomorrow morning at 6am here in Yucatan, Mexico where I live. The medical care here is amazing and I feel very lucky to have such great doctors, and medical care that I can afford. I do not have insurance and it would have been a big bummer to have to deal with this in the USA, not only the financial part, but also I feel like the doctors here care a bit more and have respect for my body.
So many people have been asking me why I am finally getting this operation, and why I haven’t already had it.
Well I never felt like I needed to do this. The chest surgery was way more important for me. I never felt like my uterus and ovaries made me feel less of a man. I never saw them, and the testosterone shut them down. Also my doctors in the USA said that unless something was wrong, I did not need to remove it. I had regular check ups and they never saw any reason for me to get this surgery.
Until I got an infection in my uterus! What happened was that the use of the testosterone over 15 years started to make my cervix and uterus atrophy. The cervix basically closed and so anything inside my uterus could not get out. Who knows how long this was going on for, but one day I just got so sick that I had to be rushed to the emergency room. They had no idea what was wrong and did exploratory laparascopic surgery. They did an emergency appendectomy and they saw the infection in my fallopian tube and uterus and found that my cervix fused closed. I was really, really sick and spent 4 nights in the hospital. I needed tons of antibiotics to get over the infection.
They said I would have to now have a hysterectomy because now that I have had that infection it will always have the ability to come back.
So here I am now going into surgery because of the fact that the doctors basically had no idea what long term use of testosterone does to the reproductive system! DUH!! But I listened to my doctors. Well, that is why I am documenting this procedure for the benefit of others. So they do not have to go through this horrible experience as well.
I always said that there was no reason to get a hysterectomy. Well now I am saying something different. I don’t think you need to do it right away, but if you plan on staying on testosterone longer than 5 years, I would recommend looking into getting this done just to eliminate the chance of this happening to you.
One other thing, they found some lesions on my cervix, so now they have to do a biopsy during the surgery. If the lesions are malignant then they cannot do a laparoscopy to remove the uterus through my Vagina—they would have to do an open procedure.
Thanks to everyone for all the amazing emails of support and love! I will send you a tweet from my bed in recovery!
Pioneering Filmmaker, Educator, and Advocate
Appendix Surgery-Thank god for good Mexico surgeons. I had emergency surgery last week and my scars are very small if non.My tattoo was not fucked up. I am still recovering as that wiped my body out and the amount of antibiotics I’m on could kill a horse. Thanks to all for the good thoughts!